Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A change of plans

fresh fruit at the market

bruce dressed up Matheiu like a little french man!

me and my nephew

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling a bit anxious.  I didn't want to go back to Los Angeles. It was a 15 hour flight and well, it was interrupting my year sabbatical.  I checked-in online and printed out my boarding passes, said goodbye to the dogs, cat and chickens and got in the car to head the Toulouse Airport (1 1/2 hour drive).  About 5 minutes into the trip I looked at Bruce and said "I really don't want to go", I was completely serious.  Something inside me, in my gut told me not to go.

I have never had that feeling before and I used to fly 3-4 times a week for years when I was a "suit".  But something said "don't go"  I felt guilty,  it's not like me to make plans like this and then at the last minute change my mind. All the kids and parents knew I was coming,  E&K had their guestroom all set up for me and our staff was waiting for my return.   But I couldn't go. The studio is doing great, the kids are happy, the parents are happy, summer camps are almost full, we have a weekly conference call with Travis to talk about things so we can stay up to date and as hands-on as possible from France...it's OK if I don't go.  So we turned the car around and headed home.  I was so relieved.  I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful, understanding, non-judgemental husband, he's the best!

This morning I woke up in France and I was happy.  We have had a wonderful day today, it's 70 and sunny and warm and so peaceful here in our petite maison in the forest.  I actually laid in the sun and read a book for a few hours only hearing 1 car pass on the road below us in that time.  The only thing you here are busy bees and singing birds, very different from what I would have heard in Los Angeles.  

This is where I belong now.  Soon I will go back to LA, but not now.


Non Je Ne Regrette Rien said...


Mark said...

Gut feeling is the real deal. Good decision in my mind.

Lesley said...

I guess Bruce didn't really want you to go either!

Michelle said...

You listened to your heart. Kudos!

La Belette Rouge said...

For you I am glad you stayed. For me I wish you had come to L.A. We miss you here.

CS said...

Very moving post, and well done to have skipped this particular trip.

I can relate. We're leaving in a few days for the U.S. I'm excited to see my mother and son, but it's always hard to leave a place you've grown to love. Aaaahhh, welcome to the expat life and its roller-coaster emotions.

Cheers from Sydney,

Becky said...

Good for you. It's always good to trust yourself.

Randal Graves said...

One car pass by? Wanna switch places?

Leesa said...

YAY!!! Glad you changed your mind... L.A. will always be there, but who knows about the weather here?! You have earned this beautiful weather - it's been a long winter this year.. Doesn't this help make up for the cold?! Ahhhh... beautiful sun and warmth... Enjoy!!

Betty C. said...

Wow, that's quite a decision. But I agree -- the idea of a year here is kind of to spend the WHOLE year, barring any emergency of course.

Enjoy the sun!